I am a mind writer. A verbal mindwriter. No, not the kind that can tell others what to think (if only!). It’s the way I think. I dictate thoughts in my mind, and they are always well-orgainzed (okay, usually), and edited and “sound” great. Then I sit in front of a computer, or turn on an audio-recording device, and wham, it’s gone. Just like that. Usually the general idea is there, but I often don’t get past the first sentence or two, if that, before the eloquent stream of consciousness I had carefully crafted vanishes into oblivion.
Thought-processes, figuring out how we think about the world and how we logically (or not) come to the conclusious we all reach as individuals about certain topics, based on our past experiences, personalities, and other assorted mental pathways, have always interested me. Personality profiles, political views…worldviews, when you get down to it.
Part of that is how we communicate. It’s interesting to read about others views on how they write, for example. What their initial process is, how they correct misspellings when they type (do they immediately catch, backspace and fix the error, or do they keep going and edit later). Do they let go of their first draft of something, or review and edit. Do they pre-edit in their mind, manipulating words into phrases or sentences before laying them down on “paper,” or do they just lay down words as fast as they can type (or write, for those odd, old-fashioned folks) and make sense of it all later?
People can do all of the above at different times, but what is most natural for a particular individual? I, personally, come up with my best stuff when I’m not in a position to “set it in stone” or even just verbally communicate it. Say something to me and I’ll come up with a witty comeback–about ten minutes after we’ve finished our conversation! Mental rehearsal seems to be the way my mind works. I practice “saying” what I want to say in my head. Whether the eventual destination is my mouth or my fingers, this makes me run a bit behind on-the-fly. The biggest exception to this is when I’m discussing a topic I already know a lot about, where my opinions are already well-formed, and I can go on for hours on end discussing it back and forth with someone who shares my interest and also has a lot of knowledge of the subject (computers, technology, software, programming, open source, Internet, email, and codes & ciphers are some of the topics that jump to mind as being in that category; I would include the Bible and Christianity but I prefer to tread more lightly and be careful with my conversation because it is so important).
I’m a pretty intent listener, gathering information and forming my opinions from a wide angle, before I commit to expressing an opinion. I prefer to know the person I’m talking to enough to predict how they will receive what I’m saying. Not that I want to intentionally lie, but I do want my phrasing to be such that the listener hears it just the way I intended it.
This, I think, is why I have always shied away from public speaking and writing. I can’t tailor my content based on my audience, since my audience is varied and uncontrollable. And that is scary. But that’s why I started this blog. It’s an outlet to practice my writing, in addition to being a place to let others know of interesting stuff I find.
I’m sure I have more to say about this, but I’m out of time so perhaps next time my mind composes an entry, I’ll be able to make it to the computer fast enough to at least get started on my next post! That’s what happened with this one: it started where I planned, and has ended up where I had no idea it was going. Maybe that’s good. But I think you missed out on the genius that was the stuff I had mindwritten. You nor I will never know for sure.